Monday, January 23, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
So fast...
Will be leaving the house in about 5 hours to head to the airport.
Yet there is no excitement.
I just feel too overwhelmed about everything, and my attitude is just "meh" to everything :(
Meh to finishing off itineraries (Going to wing it now!), meh to finishing off packing, meh to even eating lunch.....
This happens every time.
Hopefully this time tomorrow I'll be getting into this :)
Yet there is no excitement.
I just feel too overwhelmed about everything, and my attitude is just "meh" to everything :(
Meh to finishing off itineraries (Going to wing it now!), meh to finishing off packing, meh to even eating lunch.....
This happens every time.
Hopefully this time tomorrow I'll be getting into this :)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Self reflection
When you're in solitude, you have time to think about... everything. It gives you a chance to reflect on your actions and your words. Maybe sometimes this is a bad thing, as you may over think, over analyse situations.
Honestly, for me I feel that I'm just one big mess. So confused about everything. And I also feel that this kind of feeling comes to me so often. What do I do? I remember telling myself, it all doesn't matter - anything will do. But when it comes down to it, it does matter. I can't just randomly say 'yeah, that will do'. For me, it has to be close to perfect, even though nothing in this world is perfect. Crazy huh? I really want to try and go with the flow, but somehow I'm too much of a perfectionist to be one of those happy-go-lucky kind of people. I like to have control of some sort to know where I'm heading.
But then again, that is the thing. We will never know what life will throw at us. I just want to live happily with no regrets. That's my new year resolution.
Honestly, for me I feel that I'm just one big mess. So confused about everything. And I also feel that this kind of feeling comes to me so often. What do I do? I remember telling myself, it all doesn't matter - anything will do. But when it comes down to it, it does matter. I can't just randomly say 'yeah, that will do'. For me, it has to be close to perfect, even though nothing in this world is perfect. Crazy huh? I really want to try and go with the flow, but somehow I'm too much of a perfectionist to be one of those happy-go-lucky kind of people. I like to have control of some sort to know where I'm heading.
But then again, that is the thing. We will never know what life will throw at us. I just want to live happily with no regrets. That's my new year resolution.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Another year where the truth only hurts more
Firstly i wanna wish everyone.. A HAPPY NEW YEAR! lets make these new resolutions happen already :) only 8 more days till serene & i will be leaving on our trip, pretty excited but not at the same time..
The past year feels like i have been round in circles, i have this image of someone in my head, not one single person is able to change my thought of them after everyhting and now im not so sure if thats a good thing. Ive looked up to this person soo much, that they would be the first person i think off when something good or bad happens, that i can never hate but only forgive them for all the mistakes. In a way i feel stupid, as much as the friendship means to me, in other ways it still continues to hurt me, it feels like i care too much but its pointless caring for someone who only sees you as a backup plan ..
i dont think i am able to do this anymore, i feel like i have to distance myself but yet i am afraid of losing the friendship once again, what a great start to 2012!
back into shopping..
serene & i went on a shopping spree during the boxing day sales so here's what we got....
all this was found at DFO homebush
and this was bought on boxing day @ myers and other surrounding stores in the city :)
since then our purchases has slowed down heaps and i have become a workaholic... not to worry our trip overseas is just around the corner!
all this was found at DFO homebush
and this was bought on boxing day @ myers and other surrounding stores in the city :)
since then our purchases has slowed down heaps and i have become a workaholic... not to worry our trip overseas is just around the corner!
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Still alive
It has been a while. Maybe I should get into a habit of blogging again?
I'll do a proper post next time when I'm at home. Currently on bus home and using phone to blog, if this isn't renewed dedication... I don't know what is. After talking to a friend today about this blog and how he finds it interesting, made me think that it may just be time to stop neglecting it :) and to that friend, I just want to say thanks for reading hehe
You know those times where you keep yourself busy and you forget everything that has been bothering you.
What to do when you find a bit of time to yourself and it all comes back?
I'll do a proper post next time when I'm at home. Currently on bus home and using phone to blog, if this isn't renewed dedication... I don't know what is. After talking to a friend today about this blog and how he finds it interesting, made me think that it may just be time to stop neglecting it :) and to that friend, I just want to say thanks for reading hehe
You know those times where you keep yourself busy and you forget everything that has been bothering you.
What to do when you find a bit of time to yourself and it all comes back?
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Just some thoughts
There are so many people in this city, this country, this planet. But why is it that for some of us, it has to be that one person. You know those kind of people who are able to capture your heart so tightly that no matter how much you try to struggle from their grasp, you just can't. They somehow got you all wrapped and caught into a fantasy.
Their every word, every action is able to control you. You try to forget about everything that has happened in the past, and honestly you do forget some parts. But the thing is, you only seem to remember all the good times. Those times where they had made you smile, made you laugh, made you feel like the most important person in this world. But honestly, what about those bad times? The tears, the heart ache, the sleepless nights where you cried yourself to sleep? What about all the unanswered questions, the confusions.. Anything logical is clouded by fantasy. The fantasy that you somehow kept repeating over and over in your head. None of it is real. You just need to know this and move on. You broke up with a reason, remember that reason and know that it didn't work out in the first place for that reason.
Unless they are able to show you how much they've changed, how much they've matured, how much extra real effort they are willing to put in, it's not worth it. There is no such thing as a second 'second chance'. Move on and become some one better. Tell yourself that you are going to find someone even better.
That's the only way to live.
If one day you somehow end up unintentionally in each other's presence, then call it fate. If it's meant to be, it will happen... eventually. And if that is the case, let everything fall into place and cherish that happiness :)
Their every word, every action is able to control you. You try to forget about everything that has happened in the past, and honestly you do forget some parts. But the thing is, you only seem to remember all the good times. Those times where they had made you smile, made you laugh, made you feel like the most important person in this world. But honestly, what about those bad times? The tears, the heart ache, the sleepless nights where you cried yourself to sleep? What about all the unanswered questions, the confusions.. Anything logical is clouded by fantasy. The fantasy that you somehow kept repeating over and over in your head. None of it is real. You just need to know this and move on. You broke up with a reason, remember that reason and know that it didn't work out in the first place for that reason.
Unless they are able to show you how much they've changed, how much they've matured, how much extra real effort they are willing to put in, it's not worth it. There is no such thing as a second 'second chance'. Move on and become some one better. Tell yourself that you are going to find someone even better.
That's the only way to live.
If one day you somehow end up unintentionally in each other's presence, then call it fate. If it's meant to be, it will happen... eventually. And if that is the case, let everything fall into place and cherish that happiness :)
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
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